Validation in Relationships: Giving and Receiving!

Have you ever had a conversation looking for support and validation, but instead you felt invalidated or dismissed?

Psych Central says that “Emotional invalidation is the act of dismissing or rejecting someone’s thoughts, feelings, or behaviors. It says to someone: Your feelings don’t matter. Your feelings are wrong.”

Many struggle with this, and it carries over into adulthood, where we feel like whatever we say is insignificant.

Maybe you’ve been in a situation where you were brave enough to confide in someone, only to feel dismissed or invalidated in return.

Instead of feeling heard, you feel ignored and unimportant because there’s no acknowledgement about what was communicated.

This can be frustrating!

Validation Phrases to Practice!

Many people may simply don’t know how to effectively validate others or what to say in such situations.

Here are a few examples of phrases to practice!

Using validating phrases helps to foster a supportive environment where people feel heard and understood.

Why Bother to Apologize?

Another situation where invalidation could show up is when we offer an apology that isn’t acknowledged.

Sometimes when we take responsibility to put ourselves out there, by offering a genuine apology, the other person may not respond.

They may even stay completely silent, or dismiss our words, which can be quite frustrating.

This lack of acknowledgment can feel painful, because apologies are extremely vulnerable moments where we hope for resolution.

It’s important to remember though, that sometimes silence doesn’t always mean rejection.

The other person may need more time to process, or may not know how to respond.

When this happens, it can leave us feeling unheard, dismissed, and questioning why we even bothered to try.

In these situations, we need to remind ourselves that our efforts to apologize shows integrity, even if it wasn’t received the way we hoped.

Struggling to Validate Others?

In many social interactions, people may struggle to effectively validate others and it often stems from a lack of understanding about the importance of validation.

Without proper awareness, individuals may respond with invalidating statements or silence, leaving the person seeking support feeling unheard and unsupported.

They also may never have learned how to communicate or to express empathy.

Validation is like a superpower that strengthens bonds.

Next time you chat with someone, instead of interrupting or being dismissive, try being fully present by nodding, making eye contact, and reflecting back on what they’re saying.

Validation isn’t about agreeing or liking what the other person says, it’s about making them feel heard, respected, and valued, and seeing the world from their perspective.

Next time you’re in a conversation, avoid the temptation to one-up the other person, and just listen without a planned response. Instead of immediately jumping in to share your experiences, focus on understanding theirs.

You may even ask questions to show that you’re interested in what they have to say. Even if you don’t agree with them, try to see it from their perspective.

Some individuals may have been socialized to offer advice over simply listening and validating emotions, and even well-intentioned people may struggle to provide the validation that others need.

When someone shares personal experiences, it’s crucial to respond in a way that acknowledges them, rather than dismissing or minimizing.

Recognizing the importance of validation is a crucial step in fostering supportive relationships.

“You can disagree with absolutely everything someone is saying, but you can still validate them.” –James W. Williams

TOPIC: Validation in Relationships: Giving and Receiving!