Today, we’re talking about red flags in relationships!

What are red flags?

The definition of a red flag is “something that indicates or draws attention to a problem, danger, or irregularity”.

Did you ever find yourself stuck in a strained relationship with a friend or romantic interest, that you held onto for years, even as your mental health suffered?

Been there, done that!

Perhaps you secretly spotted red flags in the very beginning and ignored them.

Or maybe your intuition was sending warning signals, yet you chose to not to listen.

Sometimes we miss early warning signs at the beginning of our relationships because we were:

🚩 Unaware of what was to come.
🔻 Desperate for meaningful connections at that time.
🚩 Empathic and compassionate and assumed things would improve.

…And then they didn’t.

Painful Breakups or Ghosting Situations!

When red flags are ignored, relationships may result in frustration and resentment which can lead to painful breakups, or ghosting situations.

Let’s look at the importance of spotting compatibility, during the first few conversations with a potential friend or romantic partner.

Let’s say you planned a coffee date, with someone you just met. You looked forward to it for weeks, but during the initial meeting, they seemed to be more concerned with checking their phone, than in engaging in conversation. This could be a red flag.

On another coffee date with different person, they kept going on about how busy they were. This could be a red flag that they may not be available to pursue a new friendship or romantic relationship.

Engagement is a key indicator of compatibility and genuine interest in getting to know you.

Red Flag Warnings!

Here are some other red flag warnings that might indicate potential incompatibility. 🚩

Download a printable Red Flags Checklist here!

The good thing is that when we notice red flags, we get to choose whether we want to pursue something further, or just think of it as a learning experience and move on.

When meeting new people, the first few encounters are critical.

Compatibility vs Incompatibility

A balanced and reciprocal conversational flow that feels effortless, where we lose track of time indicates compatibility.

On the other hand, if conversations feel like a struggle, and we’re eagerly anticipating the end, this could signal a mismatch.

As April Mae Monterrosa quotes “The red flags are usually there; you just have to keep your eyes open.”

Paying close attention to the flow of the conversation, may enable us to spot compatibility or incompatibility right from the get-go.

Keep in mind that factors like nervousness or shyness might require a few meetings to reveal a promising connection.

Stay in Touch or Not So Much?

When navigating these new relationships, trust your intuition, or gut instincts, and use the first few meetings as a test for whether you’d like to stay in touch, or not so much.

Of course, no one is perfect!

Like fixing a small leak in your home’s plumbing that prevents a major flooding down the road, addressing relationship red flags early, prevents emotional flooding.

Yes, it’s OK to come from a place of curiosity and compassion, when we’re in these questionable relationships.

If that works for you, great, but if you start to feel drained, frustrated or resentful, you may want to ask yourself if you want to keep putting yourself in that same position.

Not Everyone is a Perfect Fit!

While we’re not here to judge, it’s worth noting that not everyone is a perfect fit, and that’s perfectly fine!

Red flags in relationships don’t necessarily mean that someone is a bad person.

They are warning signs of incompatibilities or behaviors that might not align with our values or desires.

Addressing early red flags helps us understand if a relationship seems like a good fit.

Remember, it’s about recognizing potential challenges, not passing judgment on someone else’s character.

Pay attention!

Nip it in the Bud!

Perhaps, after noticing behaviors or attitudes that didn’t sit well after a few encounters, it’s valuable to ask yourself some honest questions.

🚩 Do our values align?
❗ Can I be myself around this person?
🚩 Will this person have time for me in the future?
❗ Do our interests match?
🚩 Is there mutual respect?
❗ Are our communication styles compatible?

These questions help you gauge compatibility early on.

Remember, it’s up to you to choose what you’re willing to tolerate in a relationship, and if it’s worth continuing.

Ignoring red flags means that you’re choosing to accept certain dynamics.

Keep in mind that expecting others to change, usually doesn’t work.

You may choose to nip it in the bud early, before these relationships have a chance to grow.

Like Minded Connections!

Being alone sometimes might be better for our own self-care, than suffering through unhealthy relationships.

Relationships must be built on a solid foundation of compatibility, and respect.

Because that’s true, it might serve us well to be aware, notice, and act on red flags earlier, rather than later in a relationship.

We have the choice to hold onto incompatible people, or move forward by actively pursuing and investing in, like-minded, authentic connections.

As the saying goes, when one door closes, another opens!

Take solace in the fact that, when we finally let these challenging relationships set sail on their final voyage, there’s always a gift that teaches us valuable lessons for future use.

Sometimes, discovering a compatible match that truly clicks, just takes time and patience.

Keep trying!

If you’ve been in relationships for a while, and you’re looking to up level conversations, download the better conversations guide.

TOPIC: How to Spot Red Flags Early in Relationships!