How To Put Yourself First and Stop Being a People Pleaser!

people standing in front of the ocean

We can always count on people pleasers because they are dependable and the most helpful individuals in the world.

They spend their lives giving to others, and rarely say “no” to anyone.

Typically, people pleasers don’t want others to be hurt or angry and want everyone to like them.

Saying “no” is not usually an option because it can lead to feelings of guilt.

Guilt is The Feeling That We’ve Done Something Wrong!

If you are guilty, it is because you are attached to judgment, and that judgment is coming from outside of you” according to Psychology Today.

It’s sad, but in order for many people pleasers to feel good about themselves, they rely on external validation.

Being kind is a wonderful quality, but if you consistently go out of your way for others at your own expense, it can effect your health and well-being.

Many people tend to expect things from people pleasers, because they say yes to most everything.

When people pleasers say “yes” to others out of guilt, it’s very common to feel resentment and victimized.

People Pleasing Is A Choice!

Each time you say yes to another’s request, or offer to help in some way, ask yourself why you’re doing it.

Is it because you:

  • feel guilty if you say “no”?
  • won’t be liked if you refuse?
  • think no one else can handle it?
  • are shying away from conflict?
  • have no sense of purpose?
  • are avoiding an uncomfortable feeling?
  • need to be needed?
  • are using it as an escape?
  • crave attention?

Or, maybe you genuinely want to perform the task at hand, and that’s ok!

When you people please, you get to decide if you like your reason for doing it and if it serves you.

If you don’t like your reason, you have the power to choose a different option!

Remember, you can say “no”.

It takes practice.

What could you spend your time on instead of people pleasing?

If there’s something you found helpful on this post, please leave a comment!

TOPIC: How To Put Yourself First and Stop Being a People Pleaser!

If you think you are a people pleaser and would like coaching, just book a session by clicking the button below.

SCHEDULE A DISCOVERY CALL

0 Comments

Related Posts

Rules vs. Boundaries!

Rules vs. Boundaries!

Today I wanted to talk about Rules vs. Boundaries. One definition I found to explain rules is "explicit or understood regulations or principles governing conduct within a particular activity or sphere."...

Why is Personal Growth Important?

Why is Personal Growth Important?

"Personal growth is the process of an individual becoming aware of the ‘self’ in its entirety, followed by taking steps to address the behavior, attitudes, values, actions and habits that they wish to change....

Read Kim’s Healthy Living Series Books…

Get it Done!

Be More Productive and create a sense of purpose and accomplishment!

Heal Your Back naturally without surgery or drugs!

Prepare for the future with this easy to read reference guide!

Learn how to live well with allergies and prevent suffering!