No Time to Connect with Others!

Do you ever feel like you create time for people, but they don’t make time for you?

Sunshine City Counseling says that “A one-sided friendship is a relationship where one person puts in all the effort, while the other person contributes very little. In this type of friendship, one person is always there for the other, but the same level of support and effort is not reciprocated. One-sided friendships can be emotionally draining and can take a toll on one’s mental health”. This also applies to family members, neighbors, or even romantic relationships.

Maybe someone you really want to connect with frequently cancels or reschedules plans at the last minute.

Or maybe they take a long time to respond to messages, or don’t respond at all.

Perhaps they never check up on you, or initiate contact.

Does this sound familiar?

It can feel one-sided, especially if you’re the one who’s always creating time or reaching out.

Everyone Has Their Own Priorities!

People who don’t make time for connection are often occupied with:

🌟 Work commitments
⭐ Family responsibilities
🌟 Personal goals
⭐ Health challenges
🌟 Traveling

Perhaps they’re introverted and want to be alone, or just maybe they don’t feel connected with you because you have little in common.

People have their own journeys and are navigating their own priorities and challenges.

They’re probably not purposely trying to be difficult, they’re just focused on other things.

And even though they aren’t communicating or checking up on you, it doesn’t mean they don’t care about you or aren’t thinking about you.

They’re Not Available!

When people are constantly busy with activities that don’t include you, and they’re not reaching out or creating time for you, it’s probably unlikely to change.

If they commonly tell you how busy they are, believe them!

No matter how much you wish their situation was different, trust the reality right in front of you.

They’re not available.

Period!

Instead of vilifying them or thinking something is wrong with you, take their busyness as data to help you place your energy elsewhere.

This doesn’t mean you have to remove people from your life.

It just means that instead of being frustrated trying to connect with someone who’s rarely available, you can drop expectations and move on.

Appreciate the good times, be grateful for happy memories, and love them from a distance.

“The first step toward change is awareness. The second step is acceptance“. –Nathaniel Branden

Accept Reality and Move On!

If you don’t learn to accept reality and move on, you’re going to keep feeling frustrated.

Sure, you can keep the relationship going, and communicate that you’re around if they want to connect.

You can still check up on them, and let them know you’re thinking of them, especially if you know they’re going through challenging situations.

You can catch up whenever they’re available, and make the most of your time together, but it’s also important to accept that you may not catch up again for a while, and that’s ok.

In the meantime, take that same energy spent on unavailable people, and redirect your attention toward supportive, balanced connections, who have time to nurture and invest in like-minded connections.

Focusing on people who are available, creates more fulfilling relationships, and leaves less room for disappointment by expecting more than people can offer.

“Choose people who choose you.” —Jay Shetty