Our Partners are Not Mind Readers!
Let’s talk about mind reading!
So, are you frustrated because your partner isn’t doing what you think they should be doing, or acting the way you think they should be acting?
Maybe you think they should know what gifts to buy us, what chores we’d like them to do, why we’re upset, or what we’d like to do on special occasions, right?
It’s funny, because we think after being with them a certain amount of time, they should be able to read our minds.
When they don’t, we become disappointed, resentful or even silent.
Well, I hate to break it to you, our partners cannot read minds.
Just Say What You Need!
Our partners, are unable to magically know our every want and need.
Because we think they should know everything we’re thinking, we don’t actually communicate our desires!
If you’ve ever wondered why our partners aren’t doing what we expect, it’s not due to lack of effort or love.
It’s because they don’t know what we want and again, they can’t read minds!
So many times, instead of directly communicating our desires to our partners, we beat around the bush.
We drop subtle hints and expect them to pick up those cues about celebrations, gift ideas, preferences for household tasks, vacation destinations, or social plans.
Mind reading in relationships is impossible.
Expecting our partners to know what we’re thinking, is like handing them a book without words and expecting them to know the story.
Communication is Key!
Communication is the key to understanding in relationships.
Even when we’re with someone for years and years, we still can’t read each others minds, no matter how hard we try.
Thrive Global says that “If we aren’t saying anything is wrong, they assume everything is right. If we aren’t asking for help, they believe in us and think we got this”.
A funny quote in Pinterest said “I’m sorry you’re upset with me, but when you make plans for us in your head, and I fail to follow through, it’s because I’m not a mind-reader. Next time, communicate better”.
What works better than mind-reading?
Open communication, not depending on assumptions!
Communicating your needs not only works with your partner, but it works well with friends and family.
Have you actually communicated your desires to your partner, or anyone else for that matter?
Very Well Mind says “If there’s something you need or want help with, ask”.
Asking for, or expressing what we want or need, doesn’t just apply to gift giving or celebrations.
It extends to everyday interactions.
Fear of Rejection!
So, why is it that we don’t express our desires?
Sometimes we’re afraid to express our needs due to fear of rejection, judgment, or burdening others.
Open communication is the key to understanding each other’s desires, and again…this works with not only partners, but also with family, and friends!
Expressing what we want eliminates the guess work, and can foster better connections, and more fulfilling relationships.
If you’ve clearly expressed your needs and they’re not being met, seek guidance from a therapist or life coach, who may help provide insights to help strengthen your connection.
If you haven’t done so, challenge yourself to clearly communicate one of your desires, even if it feels uncomfortable, and see what happens!
TOPIC: Our Partners are Not Mind Readers!
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