How Does Judging Others Affect Us?

Let’s talk about judgment!

What is judgment?

There are different types of judgment.  Let me clarify.

There’s discernment-based judgment which helps us stay safe when noticing red flags, or if we have a gut feeling that a situation isn’t right.

There’s sound judgment that we use for making decisions or coming to sensible conclusions.

Then there’s reactive judgment, which is the habit of criticizing or forming opinions about yourself and others and that’s what this post is about!

Sometimes we question why people do what they do, especially when it doesn’t match what we would choose.

We judge them and decide they should or shouldn’t act or be a certain way, and it’s hard to understand why they’re not doing what seems obvious to us.

This kind of thinking means we’re not accepting reality, we’re resisting what is.”

Pinerest.org says that “Accepting reality means letting go of our internal dialog about how unfair, wrong, or unmanageable the situation is”.

Why we Judge Others!

Here are some of the areas where we often form quick opinions about ourselves or others, whether we mean to or not:
🟪 Physical attributes
🟧 Clothes
🟪 Decisions
🟧 Conversation or communication style
🟪 Personality
🟧 Talking too much
🟪 Marital status
🟧 Child rearing
🟪 Food consumption
🟧 Weight
🟪 Voting
🟧 intelligence
🟪 Education level
🟧 Profession

Are You Sitting in Judgment?

Remember people come from different backgrounds and may have grown up differently than you.

However people present themselves is not about you, it’s about them.

When we sit in judgment, it means somebody isn’t meeting our expectations.

Did you know that other people’s actions are not what upset us?

Nope!

It’s about what being around them brings up for us and how we react.

When people display behavior we don’t agree with, it can be helpful to pause and become curious or fascinated as to why they might act that way, and question why we react a certain way.

Staying open and curious may shift our perspective, but doesn’t always make the discomfort go away.

While curiosity is a great start, if the behavior keeps affecting us, it helps to notice how our bodies feel.

Observing someone’s behavior doesn’t make them bad people, nor does it make us judgmental, it just means we’re paying attention to how others affect us.

Because people get to be themselves, we can respect them, accept reality, and still choose not to be in close contact.

Again, this isn’t judgment, it’s clarity!

Something is Off!

Many times, our bodies know when something feels off, before our mind does. Here are some examples:

🟠 You have a friend who constantly talks negatively or gossips about others, and your left feeling tense or drained.
🟡  Someone constantly gives you unwanted advice, and you leave feeling irritated.
🟠 You share something good that happened, and they immediately jump in with a better story, and you leave the meeting feeling unheard.
🟡  They act hurt if you don’t meet their needs, even when you’ve been kind, and you leave feeling anxious or guilty.
🟠  Every time you’re around your friend, you hear passive comments or subtle digs, and afterwards your body feels on guard or tense.
🟡 Your friend prefers phone calls over texting, and the conversation feels like a chore because the friend isn’t contributing to the conversion, and as soon as you hang up, you feel immediate relief.

Step Away if Needed!

To be clear, this is not about labeling people, it’s about listening to your body and being aware of what it’s telling you.

When something feels off, it probably is.

You honestly don’t have to wait until something becomes unbearable or feel the need to explain yourself.

Judging others can lead to increased stress, and negativity, potentially harming our own mental health.

It’s okay to protect your peace by quietly distancing yourself, not from a place of judgment, from a place of self-care.

You may start to second guess yourself because you wonder if you were too sensitive or should have tried harder, that’s normal.

It doesn’t mean you made the wrong decision.

You are allowed to step back without guilt, and it’s OK because it’s a matter of self preservation.

TOPIC: How Does Judging Others Affect Us?