Have you Given up on Friendship?

Have you given up on friendship? We all want that sense of belonging, but unfortunately, so many thoughts limit us from creating deep bonds with friends.

People give up on creating new friendships, because they:

  • have no time to deal with less than perfect people
  • don’t trust
  • have different opinions
  • think everyone they meet is shallow or unfriendly
  • don’t know where to find friends
  • have nothing in common
  • think they are too old
  • think everyone else is the problem
  • don’t want to make time

When we first meet new friends, it’s exciting and sometimes euphoric especially when we share the same interests.

If we decide we like the other person, the friendship starts to blossom.

Soon we’re supporting each other through the good times and not so good times, and experiencing deeper connections.

Sounds wonderful, doesn’t it?

And then one day, the friend does something we disagree with, and our brains decide to create a thought about what it meant, which probably had nothing to do with us.

Be Curious and Compassionate!

Have you Given up on Friendship?Instead of being curious and compassionate, we stay silent and hold a “grudge”.

A grudge is defined as a feeling of deep-seated resentment or ill will.

We don’t want to rock the boat, or feel uncomfortable, so we hold onto said grudge for months or even years, with no discussion.

What happens next, since there’s no resolution, there’s either a blow-up, or the friendship fades away, communication stops and poof, you’ve been ghosted.

Or maybe you’re the “Ghoster”.

Ghosting is when someone cuts you out of their life without explanation.

Instead of being honest, and attempting to work things out, it’s easier to ghost or just let it naturally fade away.

A friendship that you’ve invested time and energy into is suddenly gone!

Is Your Friendship Past the Expiration Date?

Have you Given up on Friendship?A sign that your friendship has gone way past its expiration date might be that you:

  • Have absolutely nothing in common
  • Evolved and outgrew the relationship
  • Feel like it’s forced
  • Have no energy match
  • Feel like it’s a chore to actually put something on the calendar
  • Cancel get togethers often, followed by excuses
  • Struggle with conversation topics
  • Feel like you can’t be your genuine self
  • Can’t tolerate boundary violations
  • Are tired of being the initiator
  • Feel invisible
  • Would rather be alone
  • Pretend to have fun
  • Stop confiding in them
  • Dread spending time together
  • Feel pressured or offended
  • Look at your watch and want time to pass quickly
  • Wish you were somewhere else
  • Feel drained by negativity, complaining, drama and gossip
  • Feel a need for protection from manipulation, gaslighting, disrespect or abuse.

Are you Settling?

Have you Given up on Friendship?Sometimes we ignore red flags, and settle for friendships solely out of convenience, which can lead to unfulfilling relationships.

It’s important to determine whether certain friendships bring joy and fulfillment to your life or if they only serve as a temporary solution to avoid loneliness.

If you find that you’re constantly drained and needing to create boundaries to make the friendship work, it might be worth considering whether it’s worth the stress.

Challenging Personalities are sometimes just too hard to tolerate on an ongoing basis, and life is short!

Authentic and meaningful friendships should align with your values, and feel natural and relatively effortless.

Whether you’re a ghoster or a ghostie, recognizing when a friendship is not a good fit for you and being willing to let go, is an important aspect of personal growth.

Instead of struggling to hold on, you can simply choose to move on and complete the friendship!

Embracing opportunities to form new connections with people who share your interests can lead to more fulfilling friendships that positively impact your life.

Prioritizing your emotional well-being and surrounding yourself with like-minded individuals can lead to more enriching relationships.

Grieve and Move on!

Have you Given up on Friendship?If your friend ends the relationship, it could be a blow to your ego and it may sting!

You may react in a highly emotional way, saying things you may not mean, because you’re confused, shocked, and upset.

If that happens, practice grace and forgiveness on yourself. Breaking up is hard to do!

Do yourself a favor, sit quietly and take a deep dive and honestly examine everything that wasn’t going right in the friendship (maybe even journal about it).

More than likely, it’ll become clear that it was exactly the right thing to do.

There’s no reason to beat yourself up, you know you’re a good person, and have a lot to offer, it just didn’t work out!

Consider it a huge blessing, and take the time to grieve and move on. Out with the old, in with the new, right?

After all is said and done, you may actually feel a sense of relief!

Remember that everyone we meet is our teacher, so look at whatever happens as a teachable moment.

These lessons allow us to grow as humans, and once we can move on, the door is open for new and more suitable connections.

We get to believe that a new and more compatible friend, is waiting just around the corner!

As the saying goes “when one door closes, another opens“.

As Byron Katie says, “Life doesn’t happen to you, it happens for you.  Find the gift“.

For the friends who’ve been removed from my life, thank you from the bottom of my heart for the life lessons I will carry with me forever!

I haven’t given up on friendships, I’ve given up on the wrong friendships.  How about you?

TOPIC: Have You Given Up on Friendship?

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