Emotionally Detaching!

Imagine this…

You’re living a full life, enjoying the company of someone you care about, and everything seems great.

The conversations flow nicely and time together feels special.

Then slowly, without realizing it, something begins to change.

The closeness starts to feel distant, and less present.

Time goes on and more distance is created, until there’s little or no communication left.

What the heck happened?

When a person slowly fades away without an explanation, it’s not your imagination.

This is what’s known as emotional detachment.

What Emotional Detachment Looks Like!

An article in geediting.com explains that people often show emotional distance through actions like these:

💥 Takes longer to reply
🔥 Stops asking follow up questions
💥 Body language pulls away
🔥 Stops initiating contact
💥 Responses are generic or dry
🔥 Avoids being alone with you
💥 Stops sharing details about their life
🔥 Steers conversations toward surface topics
💥 Quits making future plans with you

This type of behavior is so confusing and often hits you right in the gut.

Has this ever happened to you?

One day the conversations and daily check-ins are chatty and warm, and the next they’re quiet.

So what can we do?

First, it’s okay to feel sad and grieve the closeness that was once had, and what we thought the future would look like.

We need to let ourselves feel the emotions and let them out when needed.

We have to let people do what they feel they need to do, even when it hurts.

Part of healing is realizing that we are no longer a priority in their life, and we need to accept that truth and let go.

Getting through hard times isn’t quick, but with patience and self-compassion, the weight does begin to lift.

As Mel Robbins wisely says, “The moment you say ‘Let Them,’ you take your power back.”

Moving On Can Feel Heavy!

The sadness of detaching can feel heavy and even though it sucks, we have to find a way to move on.

We can ruminate for a little while and ask all the what if questions, and then we can choose to move past it and take control of our own lives.

But how?

Start with this, if there was a habit of communicating daily at roughly the same time (or not), it’s helpful to replace that space with a new habit.

Finding new ways to practice self-care and staying in the present moment, can help fill the void. Here are a few ideas to focus on yourself:

🌐 Give social media a break if it’s triggering.
✍ Write in a journal to sort out thoughts and feelings to get them out of your head.
💌 Write letters to the person letting them know how you feel, without sending them.
🗑️ Get productive and declutter and organize your entire house, one room at a time.
🎨 Engage in creativity by painting, crafting, or drawing.
💃 Keep learning by signing up for classes online or in person.
📚 Catch up on reading your favorite books.
🍿 Watch funny shows or movies.
🙋🏻‍♀️ Catch up with old friends or family members you care about, and focus on them.

The first days, weeks, and months are often very difficult, so again it’s best to practice self-care by engaging in positive and productive things.

The Memory Box!

Instead of trying to erase the relationship, as if it never existed, we can do the opposite and honor it by creating a memory box.

Fill the box with past gifts, photos, letters, cards, or other items that represents the time spent together and tuck it away in a room or a closet.

It acknowledges that the relationship mattered, which can actually help us let go.

Remembering that the bond was meaningful, brings peace.

With time, the memories can become part of our story, instead of something that holds us back.

It reminds us how deeply we are capable of loving and caring about others.

If you’re having trouble dealing with the loss, it might be helpful to reach out to a coach or a therapist who can help you through the difficult times.