Do You Lack Personal Boundaries?
The mind body connection is important, that’s why a poor mindset, consuming junk food, drugs and alcohol, and lack of exercise, greatly impacts well-being and can manifest into disease.
Many want a healthy mind and body, yet they’re unable to plunge forward because they lack personal boundaries and stay stuck in worry, overwhelm, and confusion.
They spend time:
- Controlling or judging others
- Wasting time on social media
- Focusing on what they don’t have and don’t want
- Eating unhealthy food
- Filling calendars with unnecessary events
- Keeping busy to avoid emotions
- Living and working in cluttered spaces
- Showing up as victims, blaming others, and making excuses
Before and After!
Once upon a time, I received guidance to help me sort through thoughts that weren’t serving me, which kept me stuck in my head.
My life has always been centered around health and wellness; however, I struggled in the area of mindset and lacked personal boundaries!
I had fears, worries, and felt anxious about illness, what people thought of me, and anything else my brain could imagine.
These feelings were caused by thoughts, beliefs and stories I carried with me for years, which caused needlessly suffering, and kept me disempowered and stuck.
Now, I proudly wear a badge of honor when I reveal that I don’t drink alcohol or eat sugar.
As an added bonus, I’m also a happy vegetarian!
Instead of people judging me, they seem to be inspired and want to know more about the story behind it.
Speaking of socializing, have you ever been invited to a social function that you had no desire to attend?
Me too, and instead of graciously declining, this people pleaser had the habit of immediately saying “yes”.
I committed without taking time to respond thoughtfully.
At the time, I couldn’t say “no” because I wanted to be liked.
However, the closer it came to the actual event date, the more stressed I got.
Many times I canceled at the last minute, or attended and felt miserable or resentful.
Either way sucked!
Now that I know how to set boundaries, if someone asks me to do something, and I don’t want to participate, I kindly decline.
If I’m not sure, I ask for the details so I can respond later.
It’s very much appreciated and it seems people still like me even if I do decline.
Not wanting to rock the boat with friends or family, I avoided conflict like the plague.
Usually, if something bothered me, I kept quiet and then later (in my head) I would play out what I should have said, which left me frustrated.
If an important conversation needed to happen, I’d spend precious time worrying about how to approach a subject, or what the reaction might be.
This kept me from engaging in honest conversations and my brain worked overtime trying to control the outcome before I even had the conversation.
If a conversation is needed, I speak up.
I have more confidence now and realize I can’t plan the outcome in advance.
It’s OK to be uncomfortable, because that’s when growth happens!
It doesn’t matter if another person reacts positively or negatively, as we are not responsible for others’ thoughts or emotions.
People get to think and feel however they want.
Sometimes the only way to resolve issues is through difficult conversations, and strong boundaries!
Benefits of Healthy Boundaries!
When you set and enforce healthy boundaries, you'll show people how you'd like to be treated which means you'll people please less, and have better relationships. You'll also be able to intentionally focus your time on living your values, not someone else's!
Through the power of setting "firm" boundaries, I’ve learned to put my own self-care first, which allows me to show up authentically.
Here are a few changes I’ve made in my life and I can help you too.
- I worry less about things I have no control over
- The words “should” and “shouldn’t” are only a minimal part of my vocabulary now
- I allow people to be themselves without trying to change them
- I’m more confident engaging in difficult conversations
- I proudly brag that for many years, I’m a sugar-free, alcohol-free, vegetarian
- I’m able to say “no” without guilt
- I accept that not everyone likes me, and that’s OK
- I’m responsible for my own thoughts, feelings, and happiness
- I’ve created deeper and more meaningful friendships
- I’m more picky about who I spend time with
- I people please less now, and practice only saying “yes” to things I genuinely want to do
Beyond Boundaries Program Includes:
- One 120 minute conversation via Zoom or in person
- Voxer access for two weeks
- One 30 minute follow up conversation via Zoom or in person
- Personalized exercises to expand self awareness
- Helpful tools to implement right away
If you’re naturally positive, uplifting, and forward focused, yet feel stuck due to lack of boundaries, let me be your cheerleader!
I work with positive, growth-oriented people, who are ready to stop overthinking and start taking action, so they can improve their own health and well-being.
Please reach out if you’re looking for solutions, and ready for change.
We can brainstorm, and I’ll show you how boundaries can change your life!
Here’s What Clients are Saying!
Kim Gonzales is a fantastic coach! I’ve always struggled with having structure and consistency in my life. Kim helped me create small, easy habits for my mornings and evenings that are now so routine that I do them without thinking about them, which frees up my mind and my time for more important things. Kim has helped me build a strong foundation that has reduced stress in my day-to-day personal and professional life and I now have the time to focus on and complete projects that are important to me. Kim holds you accountable to goals you set in a kind, motivating way. I’ve loved working with her and am grateful for her wisdom and positive impact on my life. -JB
I had several coaching sessions with Kim and highly recommend her! I felt that she helped me to gain insight and skillfully guided me to my own conclusions. She is very easy to talk to and is warm, welcoming and affirming. -PC
When I first met Kim, I instantly knew that she was easy to talk to. During our very first session, she had me really exploring issues that I have buried deep down because let’s face it, I am a mom and wife, and we never get to think about our own needs. Turns out, I was holding myself back from many things, health wise and my small business. I made excuses to help everyone else but myself. With Kim’s help, she made me realize that I needed to focus on “me” and not the people around me all the time. She has encouraged me to make those little baby steps and I now see firsthand that they actually can change your life! I am now more productive in my business and my family life. Thank you Kim for teaching me to focus on myself more! -AF
I highly recommend Kim as a life coach! She helped me gain a new perspective, re-frame my thinking, and work on balancing caring for myself and caring for others. She was compassionate, empathetic, and she had an uncanny way of getting to my deeper emotions. I’ve worked with a number of therapists and coaches and she is by far the best life coach I have ever used. -SA
Kim is a great listener and positive responder. She takes the time to listen to what is going on in my life, affecting me emotionally. She then explains how she tackles similar emotions, putting things in perspective. This leads to instituting routines, which helps keep me moving forward and not sitting idle. Routines also keep me focused and grounded, something I have been lacking. I really value our time together and believe 2021 will be a better year! -JB
I had difficulty with initiating friendships and following up. After coaching with Kim, I was able to connect with potential friends and now have the tools needed to work through issues and have more confidence to work through insecurities. I strongly recommend anyone to go to Kim for at least one coaching session. It’s worth it. -CW
Prior to coaching, I felt isolated, insecure, lost and lonesome and like I didn’t have friends. After coaching, I reached out to several people and invited them over and I now readily accept invitations to parties. -CH
Before coaching, I didn’t feel like I had enough friends…most of them live too far away. After coaching, I have a good list of options for reaching out and happy to be planning my 60th birthday! I now feel more confident about reaching out and making plans. -JR
I struggled with organization and time management and felt optimistic that things could improve. After coaching with Kim, I organized two pantries and feel that setting realistic goals can result in success. -PC