Have You Been Bread Crumbed?

Have you heard of the term, bread crumbing?

My blog posts about challenging personalities, ghosting, and red flags, cover strategies for managing difficult relationships.

Since those writings, I’ve come across the concept of ‘bread crumbing,’ which I found quite interesting.

What exactly is bread crumbing?

“Someone who breadcrumbs, leads you on by dropping small morsels of interest — an occasional message, phone call, date plan, or social media interaction. These happen sporadically and usually don’t have any followthrough”, according to healthline.com.

Bread Crumbing in Relationships!

Bread crumbing can happen in romantic relationships, families, and even friendships!

Here are a few examples:

🙍‍♀️ They frequently make plans with you and cancel at the last minute, offering no explanation or some type of excuse. They keep you interested by making plans, but no follow through.

🙍🏻‍♀️ They disappear for weeks or months without contacting you, only to resurface when it’s convenient for them, and act as if nothing has happened, expecting to pick up where you left off.

🙍‍♀️ They rarely invest time in your relationship unless they want to brag about themselves or others, share something, or need a favor.

🙍🏻‍♀️ They tend to dominate conversations, talking about their own issues and achievements, and rarely show interest in your life or offering support when you need it.

🙍‍♀️ They alternate between being friendly and distant, leaving you unsure about your relationship status, which can be emotionally draining.

Values and Expectations!

Psychology Today says that “Bread crumbing may cause a greater sense of helplessness than ghosting. Compared to ghosting when the relationship suddenly and completely ends, bread crumbing lures the recipient into a long, extended, and continuous situation of being on standby, living with unpredictability and uncertainty while waiting for the bread crumber to make a commitment”.

If someone in your life is bread crumbing you, consider what you want from the relationship, and whether it aligns with your values and expectations for communication and commitment.

Assess whether the relationship is worth saving, because sometimes it’s better to keep your distance.

If you constantly ruminate about it, try journaling to help sort your thoughts and feelings about the situation. Here are some questions to consider:

📙 Are you feeling manipulated, rejected, or just plain lonely?

📘 Is your chest tight, does your stomach ache? Can you describe what you’re experiencing in your body?

📒 Do you find yourself questioning your self-worth or feel inadequate?

📗 Are you genuinely happy in this relationship, or is it causing stress and frustration?

📕 What does your intuition tell you?

It might be helpful to create some boundaries, and decide what you want your relationships to look like.

Or, you can even speak to a therapist, who could provide emotional support and valuable insights.

Why Do People Bread Crumb?

According to an article in brides.com, Kelly Campbell, Ph.D., a professor of psychology at California State University, San Bernardino, says that people typically engage in bread crumbing “because their self-esteem is impacted by how much attention they can secure from others. The more interest from others they maintain, the better they feel about themselves,” What’s more, these are often people who need continuous validation as “they don’t feel comfortable or confident unless they get constant reassurance from others that they are worthy or valuable”.

Bread crumbing can put you on an emotional roller coaster.

Recognizing it, is the first step towards addressing the issue.

By understanding the signs, and setting boundaries, you can decide whether it’s best to hold on or move on from a relationship that no longer serves you.

Is someone you know stringing you along?

If so, remember that healthy relationships are built on mutual respect and support, not through empty promises and sporadic attention.