How To Know If You’re a People Pleaser!

How To Know If You're a People Pleaser!

Do you feel like it’s your duty to always take care of everyone?

If so, does it interfere with your own priorities?

Children and jobs require us to do unavoidable tasks, but that goes with the territory, right?

When others ask us to give our time, we as adults, can either agree to do something or we can say no.

Saying yes to people when we want to say no, is called “people pleasing”.

We can always count on people pleasers because they are dependable and the most helpful individuals in the world.

They spend their lives giving to others, and rarely say “no” to anyone.

Typically, people pleasers don’t want others to be hurt or angry and want everyone to like them.


Feeling Guilty?

How To Know If You're a People Pleaser!Saying “no” is not usually an option because it can lead to feelings of guilt.

If you are guilty, it is because you are attached to judgment, and that judgment is coming from outside of you” according to Psychology Today.

It’s sad, but in order for many people pleasers to feel good about themselves, they rely on external validation.

Being kind is a wonderful quality, but if you consistently go out of your way for others at your own expense, it can effect your health and well-being.

Many people tend to expect things from people pleasers, because they say yes to most everything.

When people pleasers say “yes” to others out of guilt, it’s very common to feel resentment and victimized.


Ask Yourself Why!

Each time you say yes to another’s request, or offer to help in some way, ask yourself why you’re doing it. Is it because you:

🟪 Feel guilty if you say “no”?
🟩 Won’t be liked if you refuse?
🟪 Think no one else can handle it?
🟩 Are shying away from conflict?
🟪 Have no sense of purpose?
🟩 Are avoiding an uncomfortable feeling?
🟪 Need to be needed?
🟩 Are using it as an escape?
🟪 Crave attention?

Or, maybe you genuinely want to perform the task at hand, and that’s ok!


Generosity!

How To Know If You're a People Pleaser!Talkspace.com says that “People pleasing can look an awful lot like admirably generous or helpful behavior. But there’s a difference: while true generosity comes from healthy self-regard and a genuine happiness from shared enjoyment, people pleasing comes from a place of lowered self-regard and a need for others’ approval”.

People pleasers many times are insecure in their relationships and look for external validation and approval.

Next time you commit to something, check in with yourself.

Do you want to be doing the particular task, is it contributing to your own self-care, and will it take time away from something you’d rather do?

Here are a few reasons why you may be people pleasing!

👉 Worry about being unliked if you refuse.
👉🏻 Feeling bored.
👉 Desperate for friends or attention.
👉🏻 Your Friend may break up with you.
👉🏻 Judgement.
👉 The person will get upset.
👉🏻 No one else can do what’s asked of you.
👉 Feel no sense of purpose.
👉🏻 Shy away from conflict.
👉 Feel guilty if you say no.


Say No!

How To Know If You're a People Pleaser!People pleasing is a choice you make, and you must decide if it’s how you want to spend your time.

Saying yes to things, that you don’t want to say yes to, can create anxiety, stress, and resentment so you must examine your reasons for why you say yes to others.

Taking care of others at the expense of your own self-care is people pleasing!

If you like your reason and are doing it from a place of love, that’s your choice.

When you people please, you get to decide if you like your reason for doing it and if it serves you.

If you don’t like your reason, you have the power to choose a different option!

Remember, you can say “no”.

It takes practice.

It’s OK to give yourself permission to take a look at what your doing and say “no” to things that don’t line up with what matters most to you.

If you weren’t spending time people pleasing and concentrated on your own self-care instead, what would you be doing?

Creating a habit of saying “no” to others and “yes” to yourself allows you to live with intention.

Think about it…

TOPIC: How To Know If You’re a People Pleaser!

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